


To Break In, and then Actually Break A Glove

by escape_thefuture



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bruises, Bulimia, Child Abuse, Fucking Larry, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied galaxy girls, Kissing, M/M, OOC Larry, Panic Attacks, Slapping, kicking, sleeping over, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escape_thefuture/pseuds/escape_thefuture
Summary: Connor could really go for a joint right about now.In the small house across the street, a light went on in an upstairs room. Connor saw this, squinting and attempting to get a better look at what was inside the room. Then, without him even noticing, the front door to the house opened, and there emerged a boy around Connor's age, smaller and with a cast on his left arm."Um... C-Connor?"Said boy turned his gaze to where his neighbor was standing, recognition hitting him."Hansen?" He asked flatly. "Eavesdropping on our loud-ass neighbors, are we?" He laughed, dryly, tears still burning his vision.-Or, where Connor finally decides to say something, and fucks up. Luckily, Evan Hansen is the angel across the street.





	To Break In, and then Actually Break A Glove

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! This is my first DEH fic. It's only a one-shot, waaaaay longer then I originally planned to make it, and at the same time shorter than I wanted it to be... but my poor boys can only suffer for so long! Hope you enjoy it! I appreciate feedback!

Okay, in retrospect, Connor probably should have thought everything through more thoroughly before jumping the gun. No, he _definitely_ should have. Not that any of that mattered anymore because he was officially _fucked_.

It was late, possibly past midnight, although Connor has no interest in what time it was. There remained a lot of screaming in the next room, and the sting of knowing it was all about him was still fresh. It was kind of funny that despite the insane amount of swearing Connor did on his own part, he still cringed at hearing his father's colorful language. Any other time, he would have been out of that house faster than his mother could call after him. But to say the least, Connor was _afraid_ of what would happen if he snuck out and his parents came into the kitchen to see him gone. Lucky for her, Zoe was spending the night at Alana's house. Their parents suspected nothing when it came to her and who she was dating.

_Lucky_.

With every growl from Larry (no son of mine will willingly become a _fag_ ) and shrill plea from his mother (do you have to yell about this at this hour?!) Connor was lurching dangerously away from knowing the difference between reality and the muddled mess of panic and fury that was clouding his mind. Stumbling, he rose from the kitchen chair he had been siting in and made b-line for the sink. Connor grasped the counter until his knuckles were white, bending over the metallic wash bin and trying desperately not to throw up—or maybe the complete opposite; he was no longer sure which was worse.

There were heavy footsteps, and suddenly there was a figure behind him. Connor turned, slowly, scowling at Larry with a mix of fright and hatred that probably looked a lot less indifferent than he wanted it to.

"Oh, for God's sake, don't tell me you were doing that... that purging thing again." The boy winced, and glared at the white tile beneath him. 

"Shut the _fuck _up."__

____

Larry stiffened. "What did you say to me?" He growled, as if he was shocked Connor would dare speak ill to him despite it practically being the norm.

____

There were tears burning the back of Connor’s eyes, and he was trembling as he said it, but with a sudden surge of energy he leaped to standing at his full height, a good two inches above his father and growled out his words like they were choking him, swallowing shallow sobs. "Shut. Up."

____

And suddenly he was being dragged by the collar of his t-shirt. Larry did this all the way to the front door, despite Connor's flailing and Cynthia's protests, and threw his son out onto the front sidewalk.

____

"Don't come back until you start thinking straight." And the door was shut.

____

There were a few scrapes on his arms from the fall, but nothing else major—not that Connor was paying much attention to his injuries. He peeled himself up off the the ground, wincing when he felt how sore his already previously harmed side was from colliding with the pavement. That was gonna leave a nasty bruise. In a fit of anger, and probably spite, Connor turned back and glared at the house. 

____

"As if I'd ever want to come back to this shithole!"

____

Huffing, he turned around to face away from the house, glaring at his surroundings, and clutching at his side that had now been thoroughly injured by Larry's foot and the ground.

____

Connor could really go for a joint right about now.

____

In the small house across the street, a light went on in an upstairs room. Connor saw this, squinting and attempting to get a better look at what was inside the room. Then, without him even noticing, the front door to the house opened, and there emerged a boy around Connor's age, smaller and with a cast on his left arm.

____

"Um... C-Connor?"

____

Said boy turned his gaze to where his neighbor was standing, recognition hitting him.

____

"Hansen?" He asked flatly. "Eavesdropping on our loud-ass neighbors, are we?" He laughed, dryly, tears still burning his vision.

____

Evan stepped out of the house and closed the door behind him, approaching Connor apprehensively. "O-oh, no, n-no I wasn't trying to... I-'m sorry, I just, I-I could hear you f-from my room is all, a-and well... it's just you seemed—"

____

Connor groaned in frustration, cutting Evan off. "Hansen, do me a favor and just talk to me? I'm not gonna hurt you, but I can barely understand a word you said," He pleaded, eyebrows in a scowl and hand still clutching at his side. He was embarrassed, to say the least—being caught by his adorable neighbor that he'd had a crush on for the longest time—being thrown out by his own father. He felt weak, and vulnerable, and Connor hated being pitied.

____

"O-oh, sorry...," Evan blushed, and looked at his feet. He had noticed Connor's red eyes, and the bright red mark on his left cheek that's scarily seemed shaped like a hand, but he didn't comment. "You wanna, um, come in?"

____

Connor's head snapped up. "What?"

____

"I asked if... if you wanted to come in? It's j-just, well, my mom isn't home, and... won't be until Sunday night, actually, and I just figured that you could u-use a place to stay after your dad th-threw you out... not that I was listening in or anything! Sorry... I could just sort of hear from across the street and I d-don't want you to have to stay on the street or anything...," Evan, seemingly only just realizing he was rambling cut himself off and once again blushed, looking up only to see Connor staring wide-eyed at him.

____

"Sorry, I just, I'm not good with... with people. But... do you wanna come in?"

____

The brunette choked on his words, fear clouding his brain. "I... yeah okay." Connor wasn't sure where that response came from exactly, but suddenly he was following Evan Hansen into Evan Hansen's house, where he supposed he would have to spend the night if he wanted an actual bed.

____

Oh fuck. He was going to be sleeping in the same house as Evan Hansen.

____

Evan led him through the small living room, with a couch, TV, and phone on the table between the two. There were takeout menus scattered across the table and Connor wondered how often Evan was left home alone. They entered the kitchen, designed quite similarly to Connor's own at his, well... his parents house. When he glanced at the twin of his sink, Connor's stomach lurched uncomfortably.

____

"You can sit down, i-if you want to..." Evan offered. Connor sat; not without wincing at the pain from his side however. Evan shifted his gaze awkwardly away from the taller boy.

____

"Can I... can I see?" He spared a glance. "Sorry, that sounded like... creepy. Its just that I have first aid training, so I figure I could... help..." Evan was biting down on his lip hard.

____

Swallowing past the anxiety bubbling in his throat, Connor mutely pulled up his shirt on his right side. Evan crouched down onto his knees, looking at the already forming bruise. "Can I touch you?" Silently, Connor nodded, purposely not looking at him. Evan prodded, gently at first, around the spot on Connor's side, glancing up to the other teen's face every few second to see if he was hurting him too much. "I don't think you broke anything, most likely just bruised. I can get you some ice to put on it," Evan concluded, standing up.

____

After retrieving and then handing Connor the ice pack, he sat down in the chair next to the other, playing with his fingers.

____

It felt strange for Evan to be this close to Connor. To see his face—all sharp and harsh, but quite beautiful—up close, felt pretty special. If he was honest, Evan was surprised the other had agreed to come in. He seemed like the type who would rather tough it out on his own than accept someone else's help, no matter how stupid that could be. He felt the urge in the back of his throat to say something, to stop being his awkward, quiet self and voice wanted he wanted to to this boy he barely even knew.

____

"So uh... I know we don't talk that much... or ever really... but I'd... like to get to know you? Sorry, that sounded stupid I shouldn't have said anything..." As soon as the words escaped his mouth, Evan already regretted them, shutting himself off and inwardly cursing himself before he said anything else idiotic and scared Connor away.

____

"Evan." The shorter boy looked up, surprised at the calm tone of his voice. The corners of Connor's mouth turned up just enough to show the ghost of a smile. "I'd... like to get to know you too." He looked down at Evan's arm.

____

"No one signed your cast yet?"

____

A head shake in response.

____

"Well... I could sign it?"

____

Evan's whole face lit up, Connor almost fell out of his chair he was so starstruck. Evan's smile of relief didn't leave his face as he went to get a sharpie from a kitchen drawer. In his head he was screaming at himself for looking like a crazy person, Connor had literally only asked to sign his cast, but at the same time he couldn't have been more overjoyed and didn't mind the smile. Connor wrote his name in large letters, taking up most of the cast, not that Evan minded at all.

____

"You uh... have nice hand writing...," Evan mumbled when handed back the marker. The corner of Connor’s mouth quirked up.

____

The two boys sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being the occasional creak of the wooden chairs they were seated in. Both of their hearts were beating out of control and even thought neither of them could see it, they would smile to themselves every time a chair made a sound, both being so giddy and light-feeling that almost anything would make them laugh or smile, reminding them who they were siting across from.

____

Finally Evan decided to show Connor where he could sleep (a small guest room right next to Evan's room that neither him nor his mom ever went into). He found a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt of his that would probably fit Connor, after all almost all of Evan's clothes were two-sizes-too-big for him.

____

They bid each other goodnight and each tried to fall asleep. It was un-surprisingly easy for Connor, after all he had gotten maybe two good hours rest tops in the past three nights. It was a miracle he hadn't been dead on his feet already. Evan on the other hand was still trying to calm down enough to sleep. He liked Connor, he barely knew the boy, but he trusted him, and yet his anxiety was making it impossible for him not to worry that if he fell asleep Connor would come into his room and suffocate him in his sleep or something similar.

____

Turns out, his inability to fall unconscious would prove handy. At around 3:00 AM he heard noises coming from Connor's room. Unsurprisingly, his first thought was that someone had broken into the house and was in the other's room, possibly beating him to unconsciousness and he was going to die (okay, maybe the assumption had gone a little too far. That's anxiety for you.) 

____

Once he quit acting so paranoid, Evan decided to investigate.

____

Creeping his way to the door of the guest room, Evan was trying o figure out what the hell was going on. It sounded like Connor was yelling at someone, and crying out in distress, but Evan could hear no movement.

____

_Should I knock? Should I just go in? If I knock he might not be able to answer... oh what the fuck..._

____

He grabbed the doorknob and opened the door slowly, peering in with squinted eyes. There was certainly no intruder; and there was Connor, lying in the bed, not even awake. Then suddenly Connor's face twisted and he let out a distressed cry in his sleep, his hand gong to his inured side. 

____

"C-Connor?" Evan muttered, taking slow steps towards the sleeping boy. He reached out his hand to gently shake Connor, trying desperately to wake him from what Evan assumed was a nightmare.

____

"Stop...," came a faint whimper from Connor. "Stop! Stop!" 

____

He began thrashing about, crying out for the haunting figure his mind to stop, and Evan's heart broke. He had never seen Connor Murphy so vulnerable; never imagined he would. Evan stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do and afraid of he tried to do something he would hurt Connor.

____

He himself had had nightmares before, and Evan wished he could have someone there to wake him from those terrors, but of course his mother was either not there or so dead tired herself that she wouldn't hear him if he was verbal in his sleep. The least he could do, Evan supposed, was do for Connor what he would want.

____

It took a full minute for the brunette to quiet down and stop moving, and the expression that was a mix of fear and and anger was still present on his face. Evan bent down close to Connor's ear, trying to resist getting caught up in the breathtaking beauty that was the young Murphy's face.

____

"Connor. Connor, wake up. Connor you're safe, wake up—"

____

With a start, Connor did wake, but not as calmly as Evan would have expected. He sat straight up, fist flying towards the smaller boy's face. It just narrowly missed Evan's nose when the blonde went diving to the floor to avoid the collision.

____

When he could focus again and wasn't on self defence mode, Connor saw Evan peeling himself off the carpet.

____

"Oh... shit, sorry Evan," Connor got down to help Evan up. "Are you okay?"

____

Evan nodded mutely. "More importantly... are you?" Once again, this sudden confidence from him came out of nowhere. 

____

Connor's concerned expression dropped to a blank face. He sat back on the bed, deciding the floor was the best place to direct his gaze. Evan was having a very hard time deciding whether to hover or perch himself next to the other.

____

"Um... if I'm being perfectly honest... which is unusual for me, but I want to start off things right with you and everything... anyway... not really. I don't think I'm okay."

____

Evan finally made the decision to sit next to Connor. "Yeah? Y'know why?"

____

Connor licked his lips, nodding softly.

____

"I... well my dad was just getting on my nerves alot more than normal, recently. And we were talking earlier tonight and then... it just sort of slipped out, and I was out as gay to my dad. Which... did not go over well."

____

"I mean, I never really thought I'd come out to him, cause to me always seemed like the kind of guy who would be homophobic. And I would be right. He..."

____

Connor took in a shaky breath, trying to keep himself from having a panic attack or start sobbing or something similar. Evan reached out his hand and rubbed a hand on Connor's back, a silent way of saying Take Your Time.

____

"And then, he got angry. And then he got, like, _really_ angry. And I yelled back at him for being a dick... and he slapped me, and threw me on the ground, and kicked me for 'talking back and rebelling by becoming a f-fag.'"

____

Connor sniffled a couple of times.

____

"One thing led to another and he and my mom were screaming at each other and... I don't know. I think my bulimia might be setting in again, also... so...," Connor chewed on his lips and stuck his hands in the pockets of his borrowed sweats.

____

Evan nodded slowly, letting everything Connor had said sink in. Abusive father, parents that should probably be divorced but refused to admit it, and a returning mental illness, most likely all on top of many other things.

____

It was a lot. 

____

"I... like I said I'm not good with people, like a-at all... so I'm not really sure what to say. But... in my own experience, someone just being there and not having to talk can be quite helpful... so...," Evan sucked in a deep breath and nodded, seeing very sure.

____

"I'm here."

____

Connor turned to look at the blonde, eyes glassy and red and real, and he just... collapsed. Evan held his arms out and wrapped as much of Connor in them as he could, which was very easy due to his slim frame. The taller boy's face lay hidden in Evan's neck, appreciating the warm skin there, and for the first time in so long that he couldn't even count, Connor felt _safe_ , and _loved_.

____

There was a very long period of silence that neither boy felt the need to fill, and each of them were nearly asleep when Connor thought to pull out of the embrace.

____

He looked up shyly to Evan, a minuscule smile of appreciation showing on his lips. Evan smiled back, probably for too long and too wide, he immediately thought, but he pushed the anxiety to the back of his mind for once, all of a sudden a very easy thing to do when Connor was at the for-front of his brain.

____

The two were barely two inches apart, their foreheads almost touching. Eye contact was something both of them had never felt comfortable with, but this time it was different, and each pair of eyes was fixed on the other.

____

"Can I kiss you?"

____

And without even thinking about it, Evan nodded. Their lips came closer and closer until they were together, sharing warmth and saliva and it was _wonderful_. Evan followed Connor and moved his lips how he thought he should, and Connor discovered that Evan was a _very_ good kisser.

____

When they pulled away, foreheads resting on each other's, both boy's chuckled light and airily.

____

"You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that," Connor breathed out.

____

"I think I have a pretty good idea."

____


End file.
